Hoping for the best but expecting the worst

Oh man, I've got a secret.

Do you want to hear it?  Do you?  Do you? Do you?  Of course you do!  But if I tell you, you can't tell anyone okay?  Especially not my self okay?

Okay.

Well I might be a little bit in love.  But don't tell anyone!  Especially not my self!

It's a secret.

So, we may or may not have hung out tonight.  And we may or may not have been extreme bop-it partners.  And he may or may not have hugged me a couple times.  And he may or may not have dressed up as Clark Kent even though he was a nerd at school today.   And he may or may not have really beautiful eyes.

And by may or may not, I mean yes...

This one's for you, Maddiey.

It's been quite a while since I've posted.  It's been quite a while since I've written a letter or a journal entry.  I mean a real journal entry, not just writing down a conversation I had with somebody.  It's been a while since I've written anything really.  Anything other than FRQs and vocab words and chemistry notes.  Anything real.

Quite honestly, I'm not sure if I remember how to write.  I can move my pen across the paper and form pretty little letters.  Those letters know how to form words that march across the page and form sentences.  The sentences build paragraphs, the paragraphs fill pages, the pages fill recycling bins.  But that's not writing, not really. I could write all about what I ate for breakfast today or why my favorite number is 83 and no one would want to read it, not even me.  It doesn't mean anything to me, and if it doesn't mean anything to me, the author, how can it ever mean something to you?  Well, here I go, trying to be all cryptic instead of just telling you what I mean.

I guess maybe that's because I don't know what I mean.  But I guess I'll just write anyways, as if analyzing my writer's block will make it go away.

So this is for you, Maddiey.  It's for you, but it's also for me.  This is for me to tell you that no matter what happens, no matter if you hate my guts, I'm still here and I still love you.  I hope that counts for something.

You are golden, child.  Don't let go.

Love and kisses,
Dani