Rococo

I'm not really sure what to say about everything, so I think I'll just let everything speak for itself.  My words wouldn't do it justice anyways.

It's like watching the kid you don't know but you wish you did, or the one you do know but not very well.

It's like knowing that 10 years ago you were just like that little girl, and that your mother was in 1977 and that little Russian lady was in 1914.  That the little boy who said "to hell with the Kaiser" meant it because probably his brother or his dad were killed.

It's like loving the boy who wears Nike and likes to dance and the girl who drinks her coffee in first period and cries on New Years Day, like the boy who wears plaid pants and the one who braids your hair.  It's like loving someone you have never spoken to, only because that girl you used to know was in love with him.

But it's also like loving the girl with the 80s sweater who calls you by your last name or the tall boy who always says hi.

It's like how Charlie read The Catcher in the Rye so that he wouldn't feel like crying, but that's the book that made me cry in the first place.

It's like when people take things seriously that are mostly just a joke.

It's like listening to the same song 5 times in a row and you're still not sick of it.

"Using great big words that they don’t understand."

With love,

Dani

This is the first blog post of the year.

It comes after the first sunday dinner, after the first hug and after the first slow dance, but before the first journal entry, before the first cry and before the end of the world.

I feel like I should have more to say but I guess I don't.


New years resolution: I will do better in school, because we all need to do better in school.

New years resolution: I will make new friends.

New years resolution: I will not be afraid.

Twenty-two things about me.

One for each year plus six extra.  Eleven plus eleven*.

one.  I believe in love at first sight.

two.  I hate when my bedroom door is open.

three.  I like sentences that are short, snappy, and to the point.

four.  I love beginnings, but am terrified of endings.

five.  I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

six.  I wish on shooting stars.

seven.  I believe that everything happens for a reason.

eight.  I pretend to know more than I really do.

nine.  Rain is my favorite smell in the world.

ten.  I love things that are a bit quirky and different.

eleven.  I love words.

twelve.  I used to wonder what it would be like to be an inanimate object.

thirteen.  I am a procrastinator.

fourteen.  I love old-fashioned things.

fifteen.  I like my marshmallows golden brown, not burnt.

sixteen.  I would rather wear a dress than pants.

seventeen.  I sing 2nd alto.

eighteen.  I'm a people-watcher.

nineteen.  I love stars.

twenty.  I write with sharpies and expo markers.

twenty-one.  I don't approve of wide ruled paper.

twenty-two.  If I sleep on my hair wet it won't be dry in the morning.


Do something crazy just because you can.
And I mean like, really crazy.

Love and kisses,
Dani

*Can I wish on that?  Please bless...

It's only half past the point of no return*

I have little burns on all of my finger tips and on the tip of my tongue.  I have two new zits that weren't there when I went to bed last night and a chip on my fingernail.  I have a little hollow place inside of my heart that I'm trying to fill with love and laughter and words and hugs but it doesn't stay full.

I have scars on my skin and my soul but I also have a little smirk on my mouth because even though you won't say so, I think we might be more than friends.

I have songs stuck in my head and on my lips and on my fingers and on my toes but I think I'll keep them there.  I have brains in my head and feet in my shoes, and moonlight bleeding from out of my soul and words melting on my tongue.

I like the way they taste.

I have the touch of your hands on mine and the feel of your head on my shoulder even though you're not there anymore.  I have butterflies in my stomach and goosebumps on my arms and legs and the back of my neck.

Only they're the good kind of goosebumps.  The kind where I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

"Who'd have known
when you flash up on my phone
I no longer feel alone."


Love and kisses,
Dani

*I definitely checked my watch to figure that one out.  I may have even done a few quick calculations.  Because, you know... that's completely relevant...

You must be the reason I'm alive

You know that moment when you pass him in the hall and he stops to say hi and give you a hug, and you're grinning like a cheshire cat all the way to your next class?

Or when you have to open his locker for him because he can never open it on the first try.

Or when he walks you to 4th period everyday after lunch.

When he texts you just to ask if you're feeling okay.


When he hugs you and your head is on his chest


or when he plays with your hands.


When he shares his coke and m&ms even though you're sick and afflicted.


When he misses his bus because he's talking to you for too long, and then he sits and talks to you for a while longer even though you both have somewhere to be.

"When i'm with you
you know you make my days
so beautiful
with your different ways
you make me lighter
i'm movin with the wind"

Love and kisses,
Dani

Phrase-ology.

It's not really that I haven't had anything to say, it's just that I haven't had time to say it.  And now that I have time to say it, I'm trying to find the words to say it in.  "Phrase-ology" said the Brandon.

That seems to be my biggest problem these days.  Not what to say but how to say it.  Getting it out the right way, or even just getting it out at all.  Phrase-ology.

"I am very brave," Sheila Rae said, patting herself on the back.

I wish I was very brave.  If I were very brave I would just say exactly what I mean to say exactly when and how I mean to say it.  If I were very brave I would take a risk.  If I were very brave I would just tell him: "I really like you."  I  wouldn't be afraid.  "If I were really the person I wanted to be" said the Kristen.

With my eyes closed all I see is the skyline through the window, the moon above you, and the streets below.

Love and kisses,
Dani

"Make love or make war, Shug, but make something happen."

Don't you hate it when people finger-spell things because they don't want to say it out loud and you don't know sign language well enough to figure out what they're saying because it takes you a long time to process which letter is which and then you have to figure out what word that spells.

Yeah me too.

But don't you love it when people come talk to you without you even starting the conversation or when they hug you first or when they say something and you're the only one who gets it or when you say something and they laugh and you actually were trying to be funny .

Yeah me too.

"His face is a map of the world"

Love and kisses,
Dani