How old is your soul?

I've been thinking a lot lately, but I'm not sure how to get those thoughts to come down from my brain and out through my mouth or my fingers.  I hear things and read things and see things that make me feel things that make me think things, but none of those things ever seem to come together in just the right way.

But maybe they don't have to fit perfectly.

I've been thinking about love.  I've been thinking about how you can love someone, but one day you can turn around and discover that you don't really love them at all anymore.  Or how sometimes you love someone, but that doesn't mean you want them around all the time.  Or how other times you love someone so much that you don't care what they do.

You just love them.

I've been thinking about wishing.  I've been thinking about wishing so bad for something that never happens.  I've been thinking about dreams that are never realized, but also about dreams that are.  I've been thinking about prayers that are answered.

I've been thinking about growing.  I've been thinking about how we never stop growing, and how I hope we're growing more understanding, more confident, and more compassionate, rather than more judgmental, more insecure, and more uncaring.

I've been thinking about fear.  I've been thinking about all of the things that I swore I wouldn't be afraid of anymore, and realizing that no matter how hard I try, I'll still be afraid.

I've been thinking about how that's okay, because after all, I'm only human.

I've been thinking about symbols, motifs, and themes, but I've also been thinking about derivatives and how the sine of pi/2 is one.

I've been thinking about how I've spent so much time thinking that I haven't had much time to do anything else.

It's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off.

It's only half past the point of no return*

I have little burns on all of my finger tips and on the tip of my tongue.  I have two new zits that weren't there when I went to bed last night and a chip on my fingernail.  I have a little hollow place inside of my heart that I'm trying to fill with love and laughter and words and hugs but it doesn't stay full.

I have scars on my skin and my soul but I also have a little smirk on my mouth because even though you won't say so, I think we might be more than friends.

I have songs stuck in my head and on my lips and on my fingers and on my toes but I think I'll keep them there.  I have brains in my head and feet in my shoes, and moonlight bleeding from out of my soul and words melting on my tongue.

I like the way they taste.

I have the touch of your hands on mine and the feel of your head on my shoulder even though you're not there anymore.  I have butterflies in my stomach and goosebumps on my arms and legs and the back of my neck.

Only they're the good kind of goosebumps.  The kind where I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

"Who'd have known
when you flash up on my phone
I no longer feel alone."


Love and kisses,
Dani

*I definitely checked my watch to figure that one out.  I may have even done a few quick calculations.  Because, you know... that's completely relevant...